| The word ‘play’ is central to swinging. “We played for a while,” “Did you play with them?” “We got on really well but didn’t get round to playing,” “Shall we go upstairs and play?” These are commonplaces of swingers’ interaction.

No term could be more apposite. It may mean anything from ‘heavy petting’ to full intercourse. These are commonly thought to be ‘adult’ occupations, but it is the childlike nature of swinging which constitutes its principal appeal, the shedding not merely of clothes but of all the burdens and paraphernalia of adult identity.

If sometimes it seems that swingers’ conversation preceding sex tends to the minimalist, that too is part of the ethos of play. As with children in the playground, the fact of being there is sufficient proof of bona fides, and play itself frequently the introduction.

“Generally, you and I will play with one another,” explained Paul, “and then other people whose eyes we’ve caught earlier will come and join us, or people playing on the bed or mattress beside us will  begin touching us and checking out our responses. So maybe we like them and swap with them, and play as a foursome for a while, so, say you’ve got a girl sitting on a guy’s cock and the other girl sitting on his face and sucking the other guy or whatever. And then another couple is playing nearby, and one of you reaches out to stroke her or kiss her, and so it goes on…”

In the United States, he said, such touching as a tentative advance is frowned upon. “There, you have to ask before you’re even allowed to touch. Here in Europe, you don’t sort of grab her by the groin or anything, but you can stroke her arm or back or something, and, if she smiles or returns the caress, you’re in there…”