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Men like tallies. For them, enumeration seems to make things manifest, whether it be inches in the cock, cylinders or miles in the car, dollars in the bank, game in the game-book or notches on the bedpost, each representing a complex human life, commonly referred to as ‘a score’. Only by counting them, it seems, can men count them to their credit.
In common with many women, I do not think like that, preferring to consider the totality of a man, a car, a sense of well-being or a sexual experience. I am told, however, that I must here indicate who I am and what my hobby is by relation to some sort of score of my own. OK, then. On Friday last week, I was at a club called Chameleons in Birmingham, England. I there drank two orange-juices and two glasses of white wine and ate some four or maybe five chicken wings. I had full sexual intercourse with four men and three women and enjoyed oral sex with two other men and one other woman. The following night, my partner Aidan and I went to a private party, where I had sex with three women and three men, including Aidan.
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I ate, by the way, a revolting mini-pork-pie and four cocktail sausages wrapped in bacon. I drank four glasses of white wine.
Throughout the week, it was just Aidan and me, except on Wednesday, when we drove to a village near Devizes in Wiltshire to meet a couple called Fiona and David. They were attractive, so I had sex with both of them. Aidan, of course, had sex with Fiona and me. David cooked a blanquette de veau. I had two helpings. Most of the crème brulee ended up on the tablecloth or slathered or smeared on me. There you are. I make that 17 different people, and, of course, Aidan. That is our instructive and, I believe, healthful and improving hobby, and the subject of this book. We have sex. So? Most of us have sex. Yes, but Aidan and I have sex not just with one another but with really quite a lot of other people. They are our best friends and our comrades in arms. As with a regiment, we may shy away from individual members, but love the whole.We are swingers. And it is enormous fun.
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